Showgun Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 Some of you out there will say "WHO?" -- never heard of him...... For those not remembering too well he was Al Czervik, a flamboyant nouveau riche real estate tycoon in CaddyShack. Others will remember him lovingly and find some of this old hat. Here's a taste of some of his humour: ___________________________________ Subject: Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield >> Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield........... >> >> Because he said .... >> >> My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. >> >> Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! >> >> Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. >> >> A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! >> >> A hooker once told me she had a headache. >> >> I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service. >> >> If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. >> >> I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.' >> >> I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. >> >> I knew a girl so ugly... They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. >> >> My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. >> >> I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. >> >> The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.' >> >> My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. >> >> I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. >> >> My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. >> >> My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. >> >> MY FAVORITE: >> >> My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
esfoad Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 RIP Rodney Dangerfield. I miss all the old comedians. Had to be smart in the old days. Now vulgar is enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crash712us Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 LOL! Rodney you are still one the bests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IowaFoSho Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I like: "My wife was afraid of the dark, saw me naked, now she's afraid of the light!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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