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A little humour from Rodney Dangerfield


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Some of you out there will say "WHO?" -- never heard of him......

For those not remembering too well he was Al Czervik, a flamboyant nouveau riche real estate tycoon in CaddyShack.

 

Others will remember him lovingly and find some of this old hat.

 

Here's a taste of some of his humour:

 

___________________________________

 

 

Subject: Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield

 

 

>> Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield...........

>>

>> Because he said ....

>>

>> My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

>>

>> Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

>>

>> Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

>>

>> A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

>>

>> A hooker once told me she had a headache.

>>

>> I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

>>

>> If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

>>

>> I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

>>

>> I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

>>

>> I knew a girl so ugly... They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

>>

>> My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

>>

>> I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

>>

>> The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

>>

>> My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

>>

>> I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

>>

>> My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

>>

>> My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

>>

>> MY FAVORITE:

>>

>> My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

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